Blog for Choice

Today is the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and the 5th Annual Blog for Choice Day. This year's question, as posed by NARAL, is What does Trust Women mean to you?,in reference to the pin that Dr. Tiller often wore.



Abortion aside, choice is something that is very important to me. I like knowing that I am in charge of my life, both in the moment and in terms of my future path.

I've made a lot of choices in recent years. I chose to go to Syracuse University, where I chose to major in International Relations and Political Science, and I chose to be involved with Res Life, The Vagina Monologues, Alpha Phi Omega, and Habitat. I have chosen to have long hair, to have six piercings in my ears, and to wear contact lenses. And I made all of those choices because someone let me.

Why was I allowed? Because I was trusted to do what was right for my own life. Did I make mistakes? Hell yes! But my decisions were respected. The respect from my family, my friends, my society, and my government gave me the opportunity to paint my own picture.

As an adult, I am respected enough to be able to choose my own career, car, home. And I am glad that right now my decisions about my body are respected. It says that I am acknowledged as an intelligent person, one with the ability to understand my situation and choose the best path.

I am very confident in my own decision making skills. I think I'm able to look at my own situation, understand the problem and possible solutions, and choose the best course of action.

So what does it mean when people try to restrict access to abortion? It means they don't trust us, which means they don't respect our intelligence and our ability to do the right thing. And that makes me angry.

To trust us is to respect us, to let us make the decisions about our own lives, to let us choose.

Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It

Part of my job with Volunteer Services includes faith outreach. In fact, that's a major reason why I applied for and picked this position. But having been there for several months now, I've come to realize that while the intentions are there, the money isn't, so I haven't done a whole lot of actual reaching out to new faith groups. However, every now and then, they reach out to me.

Last a week I was forwarded an email from a woman from United Methodist Church who is organizing a District Youth Retreat for this spring. As she explained, "Our theme for the retreat is So You Think You Can Praise?!. We will be doing various workshops on different ways to praise the Lord, and it was suggested that one of the workshops be on praising the Lord through mission work."

Cool, I thought. I really identified with the designated theme because I believe wholeheartedly that there are so many different ways to express faith. Personally, I express my faith through what Hinduism calls Karma Yoga, basically, community service. And that's exactly what Habitat's mission is.

Habitat is a partnership founded on common ground -- bridging theological differences by putting love into action. Everyone can use the hammer as an instrument to manifest God's love.

Habitat founder Millard Fuller calls this concept "the theology of the hammer," explaining, "we may disagree on all sorts of other things... but we can agree on the idea of building homes with God's people in need, and in doing so using biblical economics: no profit and no interest.

Habitat for Humanity welcomes all people to build with us in partnership. "The Bible teaches that God is the God of the whole crowd," explains Fuller. "God's love leaves nobody out, and my love should not either. This understanding drives 'the theology of the hammer' around the world, steadily building more and more houses in more and more countries.

I'm pretty familiar with the concept of The Theology of the Hammer. I identify with it strongly and continue to work with Habitat because of it. I've written several applications and essays on the topic. I even did a presentation on it en español for a class in college. So I was pretty surprised when my boss turned around and asked me

Are you comfortable doing this?

At first I didn't understand her. I do speaking engagements all the time! At least a couple of times a week I'm out on the worksite in the morning giving a speech to a volunteer group. I've made presentations at many companies and schools, speaking to people of all ages. I couldn't figure out why she thought it might make me uncomfortable.

And then it dawned on me. I'm not a Methodist. I'm not even Christian. She wasn't asking if I would have stage fright; she was asking if I was even capable of speaking to Methodist youth about mission work.

Well, I think I am. They may do it in the name of God and Christ, and I may do it in the name of human spirit, but we're still all doing the same thing with the same purpose: service to our human family is the right thing to do. It's what strengthens us as individuals and as a group. It's the ground that Habitat stands on. It's why I'm an AmeriCorps member. It's the common thread that runs through most people.

So, yes, I will be speaking to a group of people about a principle of the faith that they hold and I do not. But the fact remains: the Theology of the Hammer binds us all.

Reading Rainbow

As previously mentioned, one of my new resolutions is to read more. I used to devour books, and I simply didn't have the time to read for pleasure while I was in college. And now I've just fallen out of the habit of reading. So my solution is to simply make myself. My goal is to read for at least an hour every day, and so far it's been pretty good.

I'm currently in the middle of three different books. I didn't read like this in high school, but this seems to be working for me, so I'm sticking to it. I think the combination of books is what's keeping me interested. With a good variety, I always have something on hand that I'm in the mood for, so I'm not diverting from my goal due to lack of interest.

Currently reading:

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

When we first meet 14-year-old Susie Salmon, she is already in heaven. This was before milk carton photos and public service announcements, she tells us; back in 1973, when Susie mysteriously disappeared, people still believed these things didn't happen.
In the sweet, untroubled voice of a precocious teenage girl, Susie relates the awful events of her death and her own adjustment to the strange new place she finds herself. It looks a lot like her school playground, with the good kind of swing sets.
With love, longing, and a growing understanding, Susie watches her family as they cope with their grief, her father embarks on a search for the killer, her sister undertakes a feat of amazing daring, her little brother builds a fort in her honor and begin the difficult process of healing.
In the hands of a brilliant novelist, the author narrates the THE LOVELY BONES through the eyes of her winning young heroine. This story of seemingly unbearable tragedy is transformed into a suspenseful and touching story about family, memory, love, heaven, and living.

Good Without God: What a Billion Nonreligious People Do Believe by Greg Epstein

With the current state of the economy, the ongoing wars that rage across the globe, and the unsettling changes to the earth's climate, questions about the role of God and religion in world affairs have never been more relevant or felt more powerfully. Many of us are searching for a place where we can find not only facts and scientific reason but also hope and the moral courage needed to overcome such challenges. For some, answers to the most challenging questions are found in the divine. For others, including the New Atheists, religion has no place in the world and is, in fact, an "enemy."
But in Good Without God, Greg Epstein presents another, more balanced and inclusive response: Humanism. With a focus on the positive, he highlights humanity's potential for goodness and the ways in which Humanists lead lives of purpose and compassion. Humanism can offer the sense of community we want and often need in good times and bad, as we celebrate marriages and the birth of our children, and as we care for those who are elderly or sick. In short, Humanism teaches us that we can lead good and moral lives without supernaturalism, without higher powers ... without God.
In this constructive response not only to his fellow atheists Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris but also to contemporary religious leaders such as Rick Warren and Jim Wallis, Epstein makes a bold claim for what nonbelievers do share and believe. At a time when the debate about morality rages more fiercely than ever—and when millions are searching for something they can put their faith in—Humanism offers a comfort and hope that affirms our ability to live ethical lives of personal fulfillment, aspiring together for the greater good of all.

Wolf at the Table: A Memoir of My Father by Augusten Burroughs

“As a little boy, I had a dream that my father had taken me to the woods where there was a dead body. He buried it and told me I must never tell. It was the only thing we’d ever done together as father and son, and I promised not to tell. But unlike most dreams, the memory of this one never left me. And sometimes…I wasn’t altogether sure about one thing: was it just a dream?”When Augusten Burroughs was small, his father was a shadowy presence in his life: a form on the stairs, a cough from the basement, a silent figure smoking a cigarette in the dark. As Augusten grew older, something sinister within his father began to unfurl. Something dark and secretive that could not be named. Betrayal after shocking betrayal ensued, and Augusten’s childhood was over. The kind of father he wanted didn’t exist for him. This father was distant, aloof, uninterested…And then the “games” began. With A Wolf at the Table, Augusten Burroughs makes a quantum leap into untapped emotional terrain: the radical pendulum swing between love and hate, the unspeakably terrifying relationship between father and son. Told with scorching honesty and penetrating insight, it is a story for anyone who has ever longed for unconditional love from a parent. Though harrowing and brutal, A Wolf at the Table will ultimately leave you buoyed with the profound joy of simply being alive. It’s a memoir of stunning psychological cruelty and the redemptive power of hope.

With a combination of a popular novel, nonfiction, and a memoir, I'm whipping through my reading. And I'm really excited about it!

Coming up on the list:
A Lesson Before Dying By Ernest J. Gaines
Angela's Ashes By Frank McCourt
Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life By Barbara Kingsolver
Bowling Alone By Robert Putnam
The Case for God By Karen Armstrong
Cheating on the Sisterhood: Infidelity and Feminism By Lauren Rosewarne
Dreaming in Hindi By Katherine Russell Rich
The Jefferson Bible By Thomas Jefferson
Jesus : A Story of Enlightenment By Deepak Chopra
Laid: Young People's Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture By Shannon T. Boodram
Let Your Life Speak By Parker Palmer
The Prophet By Kahlil Gibran
The Purity Myth By Jessica Valenti
Religious Literacy : What Every American Needs to Know--And Doesn't By Stephen Prothero
Shattered Dreams: My Life as a Polygamist's Wife By Irene Spencer
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood By Koren Zailckas
The Spiral Staircase : My Climb out of Darkness By Karen Armstrong
The Third Jesus: The Christ We Cannot Ignore By Deepak Chopra
Three Cups of Tea By Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
Wake Up : A Life of the Buddha By Jack Kerouac
You Shall Know Our Velocity By Dave Eggers

That should keep me occupied for a while! Let me know what you're reading, what you thought of the books on my list, and if you have any suggestions!

Slash It

Yesterday I came across some news about a New York City H&M that has been doing something that I think is pretty terrible. According to a  New York Times article, "at the back entrance on 35th Street, awaiting trash haulers, were bags of garments that appear to have never been worn. And to make sure that they never would be worn or sold, someone had slashed most of them with box cutters or razors, a familiar sight outside H & M’s back door."

I was pretty horrified about this. Working with Habitat, sharing property with a food pantry and a soup kitchen, and dealing with countless people looking for assistance, I'm well aware of the need in the area. I see no need for H&M to not only throw away, but deliberately ruin their unsold clothing. Donation is so simple and in the quantities available from such a large retailer, it could have an incredible impact.

But that was about it for me. I thought "How terrible!" and posted a link on Facebook, and moved on. That is, until my friend Beth read the article. I had mentioned in my post that the article made me mad, and she responded with "And it should make you mad!!!!! Thanks for posting. I know where I won't be shopping."

It was a pretty simple comment, and one that would be expected from Beth, but it caught me off guard. I know where I won't be shopping. She made it clear that she wasn't just going to say "That sucks," and let it go. She was going to do something. But she wasn't organizing a big protest. She was simply making a personal choice. She disagreed with the store's practices, so she was going to stop shopping there.

It seems obvious, but how many of us actually make and stick to such choices? Nike was using Third World child labor, but people were still buying their sneakers. Walmart wreaks havoc on the global economy, but so many of us still shop there. And H&M has some really awesome stuff, so I'm sure that even the majority of the people who have come across this story will continue to shop there.

But I won't. It's a small impact, I know. One that the corporation won't even feel. But it's not about them. It's about me. This year I want to be more conscious of my own actions, to do things with intention and purpose. It might not be easy, and it will take some self control, but for the time being I'll be staying away from H&M because I can and I think I should. And I want to.

I Resolve

1. No more Road Raging.
I get really angry while driving. I mean, I do all of my driving here, on Long Island, where people drive like crazy nutters, so it's not really all that surprising. But it's really not worth getting so worked up over. I've noticed that when I take the time to yell and gesticulate about the guy who just cut me off, it ruins my mood and puts me in a really negative mindset that I have trouble getting off of. So instead I'll just sigh and let it go. Unless someone's life is in danger, it's all okay.

2. No more texting while driving.
I'm really guilty of this one. I didn't start doing it until a few months ago, and I'm pretty good at watching both the phone and the road. I've never even come close to being in a dangerous situation because of it. But I think that has a lot to do with luck. Also, I think that texting while driving should be illegal, so on principle, I'm going to stop.

3. Staying out of Walmart.
I am well aware of the terrible effect of Walmart on our global economy, and I never used to shop there because there weren't any around. But now I live directly across the street from one, and I find myself popping in out of convenience. That's no good. I can drive the extra ten minutes to Target.

4. Blogging more.
I have so many good ideas and topics to blog about! I just keep putting them off, telling myself I'll type it up later...and then I feel like it's no longer relevant. My new goal is to follow up on my ideas as soon as I can, and to be more regular with my updates.

5. Being more conscious of what I eat.
I've been a vegetarian for a little more than a month now. I've been a veggie before, but it's never really lasted long. I tend to eat mostly vegetarian food anyway, but I do still like some meat dishes. Every once in a while I think that meat is pretty gross and don't want to be eating it, and I end up sticking with vegetarianism for a month or so. Right now I'm doing well without the meat, but I'm not promising to stick to that. I am promising to realize what I'm ingesting and why.

6. Rolling with the punches.
I'm a planner. I like to know what's going on and how it's all going to happen. I'm a list queen. But it got to the point where I was getting anxious and/or angry when things were deviating from the plan or chaotic in general. I realized that I can't take myself so seriously. Things are probably going to work out just fine without me freaking out about it. Of course I still like to know where I'm going and how to get there, but I don't want to let all of those Murphy's Law occurrences ruin my fun.

7. Reading.
I used to read like a fiend, and then when I went to college I found that I didn't have any time for pleasure reading. During my four years at SU the only thing I read besides my text books was Harry Potter. I have a huge stack of books that I really want to read, but I never seem to get around to them. I want to make more time for reading. I want to make the decision to read one of my books rather than watching something on Hulu.